Battle of the Titans

In the nearly perpetual debate regarding which sandwich meat is better for you, bologna versus Spam, I feel the need to weigh in. Visually, and from the perspective of global greenness, Spam loses on both counts. Meat in a funky can is without question a waste of resources. In fact the cans might be used as body armor if the need were to arise. Bologna on the other hand usually comes in a plastic container and as we all know plastic polymers can break down in the environment, but never fully biodegrade.

In the category of unique nomenclature, Spam wins. Spam as it turns out stands for Shoulder of Pork with Ham, thus Spam. Adding ham to pork shoulder seems redundant, but what do I know about mass produced meat. In the category of historical sandwich meats with excessive sodium, it's nearly a tie, both have roughly 300+ mg of salt with Spam on the higher end and bologna nearer to 300 mg.

Lets tackle the fat comparison. And by that I mean the atherosclerotic, inflammation promoting saturated fat content. Surprisingly, Spam wins by a nose. Spam contains 2.76 grms per serving and bologna contains 3.12 grams. Comparing monounsaturated fat content, that "good fat" we all seek when choosing a Mediterranean diet, Spam is the winner again! A Spam serving has 3.9 grams and bologna has 3.4 grams. Now if bologna or Spam are fried, all bets are off and we immediately leave the Mediterannean for Scotland unless the cooking oil is known.

In the "other nutrients" category a few notable differences. Bologna is relatively high in zinc and contains 10 micrograms of fluoride. The kids can brush with it! Bologna also has a whopping 20 IU of vitamin A.

Finally, in the pop-culture, underground cookbook category, Spam wins hands down with recipes like Spam-cream, a variation on a popular frozen dairy product. And Spam-berry jam to accompany those peanut butter spreads. Lastly, Spam can be used as an industrial lubricant and for those with hard to hold hair and no gell, Spam-spray can hold those rebel locks in place for days. However, avoid dogs.